First of its kind ICO
Let's be honest—everyone's tired of ICOs. They get hyped up for weeks, and then they launch and clog up the Ethereum network for days, Coinbase goes down for a while, and then “investors” see the new tokens lose most of their “value”. This ICO is going to be different.
The UET ICO transparently offers investors no value, so there will be no expectation of gains. No gains means few investors, few investors means few transactions, and few transactions means no Ethereum network lag—not to mention no depressing posts on /r/ethtrader about people losing all their savings!
Might be secure, definitely not audited
I learned all about Ethereum smart contracts and Solidity over a weekend so I could launch this ICO. Most of the smart contract contract code is copied from GitHub and Stack Overflow posts, so it should be pretty much right… right?
Also, I definitely didn't have any smart contract experts look at the contract before I launched it. I mean, why bother? All the other ICOs go through weeks of auditing and they still end up with bugs and vulnerabilities in their contracts.
Guaranteed token value
Unlike with every other token sale on the market, I can guarantee here and now that the value of UET will not (in fact, can not) reduce during or after the ICO. Since these tokens aren't worth anything to start with, there's nowhere to go but up!
But remember—this is a completely honest ICO, which means I don't want anyone to mistakenly expect the value of the tokens to go up, either. They're called Useless Ethereum Tokens for a reason.
Contributions in USD
The more Ether everyone contributes, the more tokens you get.
The base token distribution formula is very simple: for every 1 ETH you contribute, you'll receive 100 UET, and if you contribute at least 0.01 ETH, you'll also receive an additional 1 UET for every Ether that's been contributed in total. Like this:
|Transaction||Ether sent||Total Ether sent||UET received|
|#1||1.000 ETH||1.000 ETH||101.000 UET|
|#2||3.000 ETH||4.000 ETH||304.000 UET|
|#3||0.005 ETH||4.005 ETH||0.500 UET|
|#4||0.500 ETH||4.505 ETH||54.505 UET|
Every block has a 1 in 256 chance of issuing bonus tokens.
When purchasing UET, the smart contract will take a hash of the current block's coinbase, number, and timestamp. If the first byte of the hash is 0x00, the block becomes a bonus block. During a bonus block, the smart contract counts the number of bits set in the second byte of the hash and uses that number as a bonus multiplier.
Every UET purchase of at least 0.01 ETH worth during the bonus block will receive, in addition to the base distribution, an additional 100 UET per Ether multiplied by the bonus multiplier. That means that contributors have a chance of receiving a total of nine times the number of tokens they expected!
Wait… is this a joke? Is it a scam?
Neither! This is real—and it's 100% transparent. You're literally giving your money to someone on the internet and getting completely useless tokens in return.
There are no “whitepapers,” no “products,” and no “experts.” It's just you, me, your hard-earned Ether, and my shopping list.
Why are you doing this?
Who knows? Maybe it's because I lost money in the GDAX flash crash. Maybe I got inspired by the guy who crowdfunded the potato salad. Maybe I'm just way too bored and need a better hobby.
What can I do with UET?
UET is a standard ERC20 token, so you can hold it and transfer it.
Other than that… nothing. Absolutely nothing.
(Seriously, don't buy this. Why are you even still reading these?)
Will UET be traded on any exchanges?
I hope so. You have no idea how much I hope so.
In fact, if it does get picked up by any of the major exchanges, I promise to use some of the ICO proceeds to constantly and incessantly manipulate the market.
Will there be more chances to buy UET?
That's a great question! It totally depends on how the ICO performs in the beginning. If I don't make enough money to buy at least one flat-screen television, I'll probably keep the ICO open longer than initially stated.
How do I get a refund for the tokens I bought?
You're kidding, right?